I’m unsure about how to tell our children about the divorce. What's the best way to tell them?

Excerpt taken from Steven N. Peskind's book titled, Divorce in Illinois: The Legal Process, Your Rights and What to Expect.

Your discussion with your children will depend upon
their ages and maturity. Consider consulting with a therapist or
psychologist to determine the best way to approach this delicate

topic. When possible, both you and your spouse should

tell the children about the divorce together so that the children

can see a united front. If your spouse won’t participate, do

your best to communicate the fact of the divorce in a way that

does not malign your spouse, even if he or she is legitimately

blameworthy. For the sake of your children, do your best to

control your emotions.

 

Children often blame themselves for their parents’ divorce.

Be sensitive and reassuring to them. Emphasize that the divorce

is not their fault. In this instance, less is more; don’t get into the

nitty-gritty causes for the breakup. This information just hurts

the children. Reassure the children that everything will be OK

and that they will continue to see both parents regularly.

After the initial discussion, keep the door open by creating

opportunities for them to talk about the divorce. Use these

times to acknowledge their feelings and offer support. Always

assure them that the divorce is not their fault and that they are

still loved by both you and your spouse, regardless of mom

and dad’s breakup. If necessary, you and your spouse should

discuss having the children attend counseling to help them

understand and cope with their emotions.

 

You can purchase Steven Peskind's book titled, Divorce in Illinois: The Legal Process, Your Rights and What to Expect on Amazon.com by clicking here.