Divorce Storytelling

What are the stories people tell themselves when they are going through a divorce? That question is the biggest indicator of the trajectory of the divorce itself. We all make sense of our lives through stories. We have processed information through stories since early childhood and continue to do so as adults. What are the stories divorcing people tell themselves? Do they identify as victims or as survivors? A victim gives up control to another whereas a survivor confronts the challenges of starting over, and looks for new opportunities. Does one look at herself/himself as a failure or accept herself/himself as imperfect. If one identifies as a failure, one lives in the past, oppressed by circumstances that are no longer within her or his control. If people accept their imperfections, they recognize that sometimes bad things happen, and that we need to learn from our mistakes and move on.

Few want a contentious or hostile divorce. This is possible based on the stories we tell ourselves. What are the stories you are telling yourself?