Thursday, October 2, 2014

I’m unsure about how to tell our children about the divorce. What's the best way to tell them?

Excerpt taken from Steven N. Peskind's book titled, Divorce in Illinois: The Legal Process, Your Rights and What to Expect.

Your discussion with your children will depend upon
their ages and maturity. Consider consulting with a therapist or
psychologist to determine the best way to approach this delicate
topic. When possible, both you and your spouse should
tell the children about the divorce together so that the children
can see a united front. If your spouse won’t participate, do
your best to communicate the fact of the divorce in a way that
does not malign your spouse, even if he or she is legitimately
blameworthy. For the sake of your children, do your best to
control your emotions.
Children often blame themselves for their parents’ divorce.
Be sensitive and reassuring to them. Emphasize that the divorce
is not their fault. In this instance, less is more; don’t get into the
nitty-gritty causes for the breakup. This information just hurts
the children. Reassure the children that everything will be OK
and that they will continue to see both parents regularly.
After the initial discussion, keep the door open by creating
opportunities for them to talk about the divorce. Use these
times to acknowledge their feelings and offer support. Always
assure them that the divorce is not their fault and that they are
still loved by both you and your spouse, regardless of mom
and dad’s breakup. If necessary, you and your spouse should
discuss having the children attend counseling to help them
understand and cope with their emotions.
You can purchase Steven Peskind's book titled, Divorce in Illinois: The Legal Process, Your Rights and What to Expect on by clicking here.

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